Quick Update

May 232011
 
  • I did not forget my fifth wedding anniversary on Friday. Ryan worked at the temple until late. We’re celebrating starting tomorrow when we head to NYC together, sans Paul!
  • I’m working on scanning pictures and archiving them in a personal flickr account. If you befriend me on flickr (rebreidfamily) then you can see all the albums. I’m going to post some of the images on our new Family Gallery page, but most will, for privacy’s sake, be hidden to strangers. In honor of our wedding anniversary, see our Wedding Festivities page.

  • Paul is very excited to spend time with his friends (two nights) and with grandma (the rest of the week). He started packing a bag last week, but I’ve been trying to convince him it’s still too early to pack.
  • Paul’s imaginary friends are still around. They keep multiplying. One of his newest friends is Pinecone.
  • I took my first Karate belt test on Saturday night. If I passed, I’ll be a red belt. If I didn’t pass, I’m still a white belt. Either way, I’ve got to keep working out. My stomach is no longer satisfying to me.
  • For three days in New York, I will be attending Book Expo America and a Book Blogger Convention; I’ve been invited to be on a panel talking about special issues for bloggers writing about the classics. They have paid my way to the convention. Although I don’t read a lot of newly published literature, I’m still ridiculously excited.
  • Today was Paul’s last day of gymnastics class. We might do it again in the fall; I don’t know yet. Trust me, even though he’s getting lots of help in this video, he’s much improved.

Something New

Feb 032011
 

I’ve combined my blog of Paul’s pictures, stories, and life into this one. I obviously struggle to post on the family blogs. It made no sense to have two.

I had wanted to make this page my own space, but since I also write extensively on a few public blogs, I feel I already have that space now. This blog will still have my personal ramblings, but it will also have the posts and pictures about Paul that I’ve imported from his blog.

I have some cleaning up to do and links to fix, but I do hope you enjoy having all of us together.

Silence

Feb 262010
 

It’s hard to start something up again after such a long break. I have nine months of family pictures that need to be stored in this online journal. They are just sitting there on my hard drive, waiting to be put in chronological order. Plus, things have been happening! My baby is almost two and a half. He’s talking in complete sentences, most of the time. He says the most adorable things. He looks adorable, and he’s in this perfect in-between stage that makes staying home with him a delight.

True, Paul is a joy. The majority of the time, he is pleasant and laughing. Sometimes, he screams and throws a tantrum (especially on the increasingly frequent no nap days). It doesn’t bother me now, at this stage. I can understand what he says, and I know what he wants: I just can’t always give him what he wants.  This is so much better than the 18-month-old stage, when he screamed and I had no idea why.

So, why am I visiting this neglected blog once again tonight? Well, Ryan is stuck in Manhattan for the second unplanned night, thanks to NYC’s huge snow storm (20.9 inches in Central Park in the last two days). Yesterday, his afternoon flight was canceled. He changed his flight to this afternoon. This morning, that was canceled. He changed his flight to tomorrow morning. Do you see a pattern here?

(To keep things in perspective, this is only the second time in his nine and a half years of 85% traveling that he has been literally unable to get a flight home from where he is. The other time was 9/11. He was in the air and the plane was landed in Ohio. He rented a car and drove back to Chicago.)

But this weekend’s snowstorm is only the icing on the “we’re sick of this” cake. Ryan had told his boss earlier in the week that he is actively looking for a job. No, he didn’t quit, but he was explaining that there was a reason he did not want to stay in NYC on Friday, as they wanted him to. At any rate, the fact that he’s stuck there, and has to return again on Monday, really and truly sucks. Sorry for the strong language. It does.

We’ve been pondering and searching for another job since we returned to the USA in August 2008. Ryan had some promising interviews that fall, but nothing panned out. (Maybe you recall, but that was the fall that the economy suddenly tanked.) In 2009, Ryan kept looking. Then, this month and last, he’s been working on it in all his free time. It definitely time. For example, Saturday, he was up before dawn, searching and applying for jobs until after 8 p.m. I only wish there was something I could do to help. There have been some leads, so we’re hopeful something will pan out soon. But we’d appreciate any extra prayers that you can send our way.

I have cleaned the bathrooms. I’ve vacuumed and swept the floors. Maybe getting the house ready will speed my husband home!

I called this post “silence” because that is how I feel about my daily life sometimes, and that is why this blog has been silent for so many months. Most days, I go see my friends or they come here for play dates. And this morning my friend was kind enough to step up as a last minute babysitter so I could still go spend my two hours volunteering at the library. How I love that time of talking to adults! Every morning and every evening, I also talk to Ryan. I do get much-needed socialization in person. In fact, it’s just the right amount of out of the house time: I’m naturally an introvert so it becomes exhausting to me. I think two book clubs and a few plays dates a week is enough for me.

But I also spend some time most days responding and discussing books with other readers online via my book blog. That life is a complete non-baby life, and it really helps save my sanity: I know I can finish the day with some thought that doesn’t revolve around best potty training methods. (I guess that’s why I haven’t been blogging on this site: blogging four or five times a week at my books site is time-consuming enough, and this site would only be about more potty training pleas for help).

But the bottom line is, at the end of the day, our home is silent. The floorboards creak, the furnace turns on, my son mumbles in his sleep. But the main sound is silence.

This is why I’m praying that my husband can come home, and stay home. I long for his snores once the silence of night sets in. The silence is getting a bit loud.

In Case You Are Wondering…

Oct 202009
 

I really consider this blog and Paul’s blog very low priority. They are our scrapbooks, and you know how scrapbooks get pushed down to last place.

Paul hasn’t been napping as regularly lately, and when I put him in bed at night, I seriously don’t feel like sorting through two months of old pictures, trying to find something that I can reformat for the web. I find my daily life rather boring, so I’d rather not write up how boring it is for the web.

Once night is here, I’d rather read a book or blog about the books I’ve read.

The more I think about how many pictures I “need” to post on here, the less likely I’m going to do it. So I’m just stepping back, and when I feel like it, I’ll get to it. I do want the pictures up here for future reference!

Something to Ponder

Today I was standing in line at the supermarket when a magazine cover caught me eye. The main headline said

WALK IT OFF! Lose 2 lbs this month

Underneath that was a picture of a large cake covered with M&Ms with the sub-headline that said

Make an M&M Pumpkin Cake! Details page ___!

Now, I’ve never been on a diet and I’m also not much of a fan of candy anyway so maybe it’s just easy for me to say, but seriously: you have to agree there is something wrong with our priorities, when those are the two headlines on a woman’s family magazine. I suspect not eating an M&M pumpkin cake is probably the best thing you can do for your health this month, no matter how much you go walking!

Just a thought.

Rebecca Reads Is a Finalist!?

Sep 092009
 

We had a lovely weekend in Utah, and I’m so glad we could spend time with Paul’s grandparents in Utah. We hadn’t been there since November 2008, so Paul has grown up quite a bit! Hopefully, we’ll get back to Utah a lot sooner next time so we’ll get to see other family and friends as well.

I had good intentions upon my return. I planned to get photos up quickly and clean the fridge and do other ambitious projects. But then I found out that my reading blog, Rebecca Reads, is a finalist as Best General Review Blog for the Book Blogger Appreciation Week!

bbaw_celebrate_books

I was always picked last in gym class. And the only vote I’ve ever won was for Drama Club President. But no one else wanted to be drama president, so I guess it was kind of by default. Ryan says that Drama Club President is just as geeky as being last in gym class: what do you think?

At any rate, I’m suddenly a winner (or at least the committee liked me). I get to put a lovely badge on my books site, and guess what…..there is still a vote for the best of all the finalists!

If you like book blogs, or you think you might like to find some books blogs, there are dozens of categories of blogs about books. Peruse the shortlists (with links to the blogs) and then go vote for your favorites by Saturday, September 12, 11:59 PM EST.

And if you are so inclined, you could vote for me. :) I’m a bit giddy here.

And if I calm down by tomorrow, I may scrub the fridge. Ask me about it. I need someone to hold me accountable because apparently I’m not holding myself accountable.

Coming Alive

Aug 012008
 

How do you cultivate creativity in your life?  Have you found the things that make you come alive? Are you doing them? Shouldn’t you be? (Write on Wednesday)

I started blogging for the public world in May — a book blog, this writing blog, a photography blog. All the sudden, there is a new creativity in my life, and it feels good.

Sometimes I get an idea for a writing sketch. Writing that makes me come alive.  I am not very good at fiction, but when I had time, I sat down and responded to some Fiction Friday prompts. I really felt alive as I created those characters. I’ve tried my hand at a novel that I have in mind. But time seems to stifle my creativity; I don’t have nearly enough time to spend nurturing those little children into being.

Every few weeks, I take some pictures, or I work with old photographs I’ve taken. I tweak them and upload them to my photography blog. I like working with my photographs, and I feel creative. But again, time stops me, and I get busy and forget.

Most often, I’ve been reading. When I finish reading something and stop to write a few passages about it, I feel I come alive. Analyzing what I read was what I did in college as an English major. I loved it then. I love it even more so now because I’m not spending days on each book: I’m finding the inspiring themes in less than 1,000 words and then I’m moving on to another inspiring book. Good literature is helping me cultivate my creativity.

Am I doing all I can to cultivate creativity? No; if so, I’d spend all day nurturing my fictional characters and the words and photographs that feel so good. Instead, I nurture my little boy, who is going to be walking soon and seems to eat constantly these days. Should I be doing more? No, my priorities are where they should be right now.

Sometimes, I wish I could spend eight hours a day writing and reading. Then my boy laughs as he stands up: he’s so proud of himself. I realize I don’t want to change anything.

So for now, I’ll focus on being a mom 24 hours a day. That keeps me alive. I’ll also keep reading inspiring literature: it adds an aspect of creativity that makes me feel alive, even when I’m too busy to sit and give life to the fictional characters and writing sketches residing in my mind.

Why In the World Do I Come to the Page?

Jun 132008
 

The question: Why in the world do you come to the page?

The answer: I don’t know.

How do I not know? I wondered. Ive always considered myself a writer. From the first time I wrote my own story, I wanted to write more.

I’ve always wanted to harness the power of words the way that George Bailey wants to lasso the Moon:

What did George want to do with the moon? Who knows. But he wanted it. So is my desire to use words. I don’t know to what purpose.

Now I’m facing an internal crisis: Who am I writing for? What do I want to write? Why am I writing?

“Rebecca’s Writing Practices” is the fifth blog I’ve set up. I’m realizing I don’t have an answer to those questions in terms of this blog.

Two of my blogs are family blogs — one for me to write my life events and thoughts for my family and friends, one to post pictures of my adorable baby boy for his grandmas. These are extensions of my personal journal. I write in my journal as a sort of personal catharsis to the happy and painful events of life. My audience is myself, my family, and my extended family. I learn from my past self when I revisit my journal pages. I feel like this writing has a purpose, and I often feel satisfied with my recordings of my life. It is not polished writing, but it is mine.

Another blog I’ve begun is a reading/book reviews blog for other readers. While I am trying to keep my varied audience of readers in mind, ultimately I write because I feel the need to think critically of the things I read. I studied English in college, and I find myself trying to apply the things I learned about literature to my current reading and succinctly analyze my writing. While my reviews certainly are not A+ term paper material, I feel good about my developing ability to succinctly capture the emotions and themes of the books I’m reading.

My fourth blog is my photography blog. I don’t focus on writing, but rather capturing my memories and emotions through photography. I feel satisfied with my photography, amateur that I am.

That leads me back again to “Rebecca’s Writing Practices.” I realize that, despite what published authors say, I must have an audience in mind when I write. I’m realizing I don’t know my audience, and it’s making it hard to write. What do I want to write? I’m most familiar with personal nonfiction sketches because I’m so used to journaling and blogging. That’s what I began focusing on. I started responding to prompts using the personal experiences that are familiar to me. I want to write fiction, but I always feel frustrated when I do; it is never convincing to me because I’ve never been there. I realize that I don’t need to write for a blog, but I’m struggling to find purpose to my writing when I’m the only one reading it from the hard drive of my computer.

This leads me back to the original question: What brings me to the page (or computer, in my case) in the first place?

I have this longing, an urge, to fill the white screen with my words, with my creativity. I want to be a Creator, through words. But I don’t think that’s enough. I need a reason to write, and I need to have an audience in mind.

Writer’s Block

Jun 112008
 

I wrote something dumb recently. When I reread it and noticed how ridiculous it was, I threw it out in shame. Now, I’ve been having a hard time writing anything. I just can’t approach writing this week.

I think I’m afraid that whatever I create will be mediocre — a problem I’m sure will be true. This blog wasn’t intended to be for polished writing. I’m so out of practice, anything I write will be mediocre.

I realize that I am an amateur writer. As a child I was full of creativity. I wrote stories, I wrote in a journal, I wrote plays, and I generally remained creative. I haven’t had any forums for my creativity lately. I desire some of those “creative juices” so I can be the writer I want to be.

I started this blog to force myself to be accountable — to have a forum where I felt I must answer the internal call to write. I thought I’d respond to the online writing prompts and that would help me become better. In some respects, it’s been good to respond. In others, I don’t see it helping. I don’t want people telling me “Well done!” or “I understand” all the time because that won’t help me. At the same time, I’m terrified of being told that I’m a lousy writer and that my images are ridiculous or silly.

I realize that I need an audience in mind when I write: I need a purpose to what I’m writing. Writing “for the world” via a blog is not necessarily working for me.

I’ll be back on this blog. But first I need to figure out why I’ve started it, and I need to get past this week of writer’s block.

Sticky Note: Blogroll

Apr 212008
 

I was making some changes to the blogroll because most of the links were out-of-date. In the process, I lost it all. I got my family’s pages back up, but not the rest of you. If you want me to post a link to your blog, either comment or send me an email at rebecca [at] reid-family [dot] org. (Scroll down for recent posts.)

Book Tag

Apr 102008
 

Jessica tagged me with this:

1. Grab the nearest book (at least 123 pages)
2. Turn to page 123.
3. Find the 5th sentence.
4. Post said sentence on your blog.
5. Tag five people.

The book nearest me is Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri. I just finished it. It is a book of short stories, so this sentence of dialogue doesn’t make much sense out of the blue: “You are wiser than that, Eliot.”

In a sense, each short story in this book is about a person who feels isolated and lonely. In this story, the 30-year-old woman from India feels lonely away from her family. In this sentence, she is telling the ten-year-old boy that she can tell he already knows that he will be alone in his life. He is wiser than she is because he expects to be alone; she doesn’t.

I tag Paige and Liz (but only if you want to participate). I think you are the only people who read my blog that have a blog and haven’t already been tagged. If you read this, you have a blog, and you haven’t been tagged, consider yourself tagged: and let me know that you are reading!

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