Peace and Quiet

Feb 262011
 

“If there are to be constant and bitter recriminations over the state of the house, better, for the man’s sake, the children’s sake and the woman’s sake, a dingy room where peace and quiet are than a spotless abode where no love is.”

Chapter 2, Round about a Pound a Week by Maude Pember Reeves, 1914.

This book is a report on 42 working-class families in 1910 Lambeth (England) who pay rent, eat, and stay clothed on one pound a week and with up to 10 children in the early 1910s. (That’s about $120 US in 2010 equivalent, or about $6200 a year). Book available at Internet Archive.

Read it and you’ll never feed your son a banana or have a glass of milk without remembering it. You are rich as a queen, my friends!

The Management of the Home Is an Art

Nov 152010
 

Those women we call “house”-wives deserve praise. The domestic work they carry out, and which is not paid in hard cash, is essential to the home. Their compensation remains the pile of well ironed, sweet-smelling washing, the shining tiled floor on which the foot glides, the gay kitchen filled with the smell of stews. Their silent action is felt in the least useful detail: over there, a flower in bloom placed in a vase, elsewhere a painting with appropriate colours, hung up in the right place. The management of the home is an art. (page 63, So Long a Letter by Mariama Ba, translated from French by Modupe Bode-Thomas)

Background: Ramatoulaye is a teacher in 1970s or 1980s Senegal, married to a man who, after twenty-five years of marriage and twelve children, has taken a second wife: a young girl who was his oldest daughter’s best friend. In Senegal, under Islam, polygamy is legal. Ramatoulaye has plenty of issues to deal with, but I certainly appreciated her praise for those who care for her home. (Despite the fact that she has domestic help, she still must do much of the work to keep the home running.)

Anna

Sep 022010
 

I have just scrubbed Anna’s name from the corner of Paul’s bedroom wall. It may have taken a year and a half, but now that room is wholly his.

When we first moved in, I found myself creating a drama in my head about this girl. At ten or eleven, she was forced to leave her home and her swing set. I imagined a dramatic story for her parents that explained why they stopped paying their mortgage payment, a story for why the mother kept a snapshot of her son (Michael) in her bathroom drawer and how she kept it there to the last and then forgot it. I imagined Anna’s reaction come winter when she realized she’d left her size 7, purple-laced ice skates in the attic. I imagined the reasons behind the pair of sneakers left in the garage, the sweatshirt under the kitchen sink. (Turns out that sweatshirt was there for a practical reason, as the faucet was broken when we moved in and turning it on forced water into the under-the-sink area. The sweatshirt came in handy.)

At any rate, eighteen months later, I’ve realized I don’t think of Anna and Michael and their delinquent-on-their-mortgage parents anymore. I see my house and love it as my house. I see Paul’s room, and whenever that door opened all the way, I saw Anna’s height on the wall, marring Paul’s room.

And thanks to magic erasers for getting that pencil and pen off the wall. It’s truly Paul’s wall now.

Spring Cleaning

Mar 202010
 

I’ve been busy getting in the spring cleaning mood this morning. All week, Paul and I have been walking to the park, walking to the Big Big Bridge to play “Poohsticks”, and outside watering flowers and getting in a Spring-y mood. I had Yardwork with a capital Y on my list for this morning but ….. it snowed last night. Yes, I shouldn’t have expected it to say in the 70s!

So instead, Paul and I have been cleaning out this morning while Daddy runs some errands. It’s feeling pretty good. See some pictures of Paul from this morning.

Today’s Reflections

Mar 022010
 

(1) When people ask me “How are you doing?” they are not hoping to hear potty training updates.

(2) I’ve become obsessive-compulsive about making sure the sippy cup lid matches the sippy cup.

(3) Cleaning toilets doesn’t bother me much anymore, but I still don’t like scrubbing the shower.

(4) Relief Society, while it is not my beloved primary, isn’t all that bad. In fact, I think I like being there each Sunday!

Projects Progress and Thoughts on Cleaning Every Week

Aug 202009
 

In addition to the regular cleaning, in the past two weeks, I’ve made a conscious effort to get some projects done. The highlight was certainly the new water softener, which Ryan put in. It only took 3 extra trips to Home Depot for a plumbing wrench, a new pipe, and a different new pipe.

  • Spray weeds: front, side and back of house
  • Fungicide at trees bases
  • Pull backyard weeds
  • Trim rosebush
  • Replace misc. light bulbs, inside and out
  • Put up shampoo and conditioner dispensers
  • Buy faux plant for dining room shelf
  • Scrub garage door where paint ball hit it (it didn’t clean completely, so we may need to paint it)
  • Purchase and install new water softener (FINALLY!)
  • Order new jeans with my Lands End gift card from Discover

I look at this list and it doesn’t sound like much, especially since Ryan did the dispensers and the water softener. But last week I also went down to Naperville twice, so that took up two days. I’m eager to keep doing projects in the coming weeks.

Further,  this was my fourth week of cleaning the entire house by Thursday night (defined as bathrooms, vacuuming, dusting, sweeping/mopping, cleaning kitchen counters and microwave, etc.). My score card is 4 success/0 fail/52 weeks, although I probably missed something small each week (like I missed the microwave one or two weeks and I didn’t dust one week). My goal is to clean the house every week for 52 weeks.

I’m realizing how great it is to clean every week: I go to clean the toilet in the powder room and think “It’s not even dirty” and what a wonderful thing! It’s never dirty. It doesn’t take long to wipe down an almost-clean toilet. It’s not even a “gross” chore. I go to clean the microwave and it’s mostly clean. I’m pretty big on keeping the microwave clean after I use it anyway, but I think making the special point of cleaning each week means that, like the toilet, I’ll never have to see it bad.

I’m also realizing that cleaning every week is really a superficial thing. Because everything is superficially clean (i.e., the toilets as I mentioned above), I can see the scuffs on the walls and the scratched paint on the door. I see the dirt in the corner behind the door. Cleaning every week is motivation to do deeper cleaning projects on my whole house. I’m going to recaulk the hall bathtub (if I can figure out how) and I’m going to paint the trim on the kitchen window. I only see it because I’m cleaning the rest of the room every single week.

I admit I have been getting lazy, or maybe just efficient. While I spent about six hours the first week, I only spent three hours today. I need to go deeper and get the tubs cleaner (I hate the glass doors on the shower and tub; so hard to clean!). Now that I have soft water again, it may be easier. Where is the lime-a-way?

Am I OCD? Absolutely not. I’m just trying to get in a habit for cleanliness. I figure a year of this, every week, will make it easier. Habits are hard to build and easy to break. Trust me when I say it does not come naturally for me. I’m inclined to ignore the bathrooms until they look icky, as I had been doing.

It’s been said that people get messier and dirtier as they age, and I want to start out as clean as I can be. That’s why I have this silly goal for now when I still feel young.

What are your techniques for not being lazy about cleaning and house projects? I’m up for ideas for making cleaning a great habit.

Six Months Already

Jul 302009
 

Six months ago, we closed on our new house. We moved in shortly thereafter. Now that we’re settled, it really about time I share the pictures of the inside. In fact, I can’t believe it’s already been six months.

Since January 29, we had the wood floors refinished, completely replaced the roof, and moved in. We have all the framed artwork that we own up on the walls. The wonderful thing is there are so many walls that we still have space left for more!

Note: Wow, this post ended up long. No hard feelings if you don’t want to read it all. :)

Since Ryan is back to traveling starting this week, I’d determined to get back on a regular schedule of cleaning the house. No more excuses, despite the summer weather. My goal is that every Thursday I spend the entire day getting the house ready for his return, including:

  • sweeping (which should be a daily task) and mopping the hardwood floors
  • cleaning the bathrooms, including the counters, mirrors, floors, toilets, and tubs/showers
  • scrubbing the kitchen counters and emptying the sink, including the microwave
  • dusting the living, family room, and bedroom
  • vacuuming all the carpet (there isn’t very much of it)
  • cleaning my office desk (I tend to pile things on it; this isn’t really for Ryan’s sake but rather for my own)

I started this morning, entertained Visiting Teachers for an hour, and was done by 3 p.m. (including taking 1 1/2 hours of Paul’s nap time).  Paul was very “helpful” when he’s awake. In addition to regular cleaning, I want to do one other major or minor house project a week.

Expensive House Projects

If I consider how much money we spent on floors, a new roof, and moving, certainly I could get a lot more basic house maintenance done in the next six months too!

  • A new water softener (very urgent; my hands are chapped)
  • Repaint the garage door (it was paint balled this week, and the bright orange paint won’t come off)
  • A new dryer (ours is slowly dying, so the next six months will probably bring this needed appliance)
  • Repaint all trim on house exterior (optional, I suppose, but it’s looking bad)
  • Re-seal and repaint the house exterior (optional, I hope)

A Tour of My House

Entry

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I’m pretty happy with the main entry to my house. I love it, in fact. Do you think the entryway needs a little console table under the picture of Christ? Maybe I’d put one to the side under the other picture in the hall (not pictured here). Except, I don’t want it to become a place to set things. Not cool. I just like the look of console tables. This is a dream, not a project.

Powder Room

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I love the long counter in here! Project: This bathroom needs a photo or picture over the toilet. What kind of a picture does one put in a bathroom? Does the picture of Christ on the counter look odd?

Living Room

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This room is so comfortable. It’s a non-play room, so I feel I can keep it clean and tidy for more than an afternoon. A few weeks ago, we finally put up our three picture shelves. Project: I need to get extended family pictures and frames to put on the shelf.

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I love this book case, and it works for now. Dream: A larger, taller case with glass doors.

Dining Room

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When the extra leaf is in the table, it makes this room very crowded. We only eat here when we have company though, so it’s okay, I guess. Except we never want to take out the leaf.

  • Project: I need something appropriate for that large, long shelf. It can’t weight too much, and it’s a bit high, so I can’t decide what would look nice at that level.
  • Project: New light fixture. This one has two light bulbs broken inside it, and we can’t get them out. Looks rather tacky.

Kitchen

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I love my kitchen. It’s probably my favorite room, just because it’s so comfortable. When it’s clean, I just get goosebumps as I walk in to it. I love the granite countertops.

  • Project: Rearrange drawers so more of the utensils can be put away. I don’t like having so many utensils on the counter, but I do like having them accessible when I need them! I actually have three drawers empty, but they are the drawers by the glass cabinets — not a useful spot when I’m in the middle of cooking.
  • Project: Get our knives sharpened. (I’m reading a book about it right now, so I’m already working on this project.)
  • Dream: Find a better home for the ice cream maker and bread maker. It’s too bad, but they don’t fit in any cabinets. And they’re heavy.
  • Project: Eat one meal a week on my china. I have it, I should use it, fancy meal or not!

Family Room

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I like this room too. I like the pillows I found for the couch, and that table is actually a chest for hiding Paul’s toys.

  • Project: Set up keyboards (they were disconnected a few weeks ago).
  • Project: Do something nice on the mantle. I had family pictures there, but now I think I’m going to move them to the other room.
  • Project: Reorganize DVDs in binders (these are in the drawer of the cabinet.)
  • Dream: Add a shelf to the cabinet in this room. It was a TV cabinet that we got used. I’ve tried to affix a shelf inside the top half, but I can’t. Alas.

Master Bedroom/Bathroom

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I like this room too. Really, I just love my house overall.

  • Project: We have a large armoire that we got used. The doors have come off (the holes are stripped), so I need to sand them, fill them, and re-drill the holes. This will be a big project, I think.
  • Project: Recalk master shower. It’s not bad, yet, but every week when I clean it, I think that’s what it really needs: more caulking.
  • Project: Do the ironing. (We keep the ironing board set up in our room.)

My Office

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I don’t have any project in here, other than getting pictures on the wall (a very low priority). When we first moved in, I had my books in alphabetical order (fiction) and Dewey Decimal order (nonfiction). I’m a geek. Needless to say, it didn’t last long with Paul to help reorganize it.

I didn’t really know how cluttered my bookshelves are until I take pictures of them! It looks pretty messy.

Ryan’s Office

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Ryan’s office is quite and lonely when he’s gone, especially since he’d been working from home for so long. Paul likes to sit in the chair in the corner and read his books. If there are any projects for this room, I don’t know about them!

Paul’s room looks the same as in his tour a few months ago. Other projects include more pictures on the walls, especially in the hall, and recaulk the tub in the hall. Fun, fun, fun!

Okay, I know that was more than you wanted to know. But now I feel really good about the prospects for the coming six months! We’ll see how much we get done.

(Oh wait, I forgot the yard! For another day….)

Update

Jun 042009
 

Having a Husband Home

Ryan’s been in town for three weeks! It’s been so nice to have him home at night. I go to finish getting dinner ready and there is laughter coming from the playroom instead of wails and whines. And then he gets Paul ready for bed while I clean up the kitchen or vice versa. I’m so jealous of all of you who have your husband home most nights! I’m so spoiled this month.

Ryan worked in St. Charles (30-40 minutes away) for a week. The downside was that I had to drive him if I wanted the car. We are still a one-car family, and it’s obvious that we’d need a second car if he were in town more often. Paul did not like sitting in the car for 90 minutes in the morning and again in the evening! Ryan worked in St. Charles for one week, he worked downtown a few days, and the rest of the time he’s been working from home. It’s very nice. Of course, knowing that the company has clients to send him to would be very nice too. It’s a good time to stay very busy in your place of employment.

Yesterday he had to fly out to Albuquerque in the early hours of the day, but he’s flying back tonight, red eye. He may return to NYC next week; I’m not sure. I wouldn’t mind having him around longer, despite the caveat I wrote above.

Anniversary

We had a really nice weekend to celebrate our third anniversary. Ryan finished up his work in St. Charles and we drove down to Naperville. Mom and Dad had agreed to watch Paul. It was to be the first night I was ever apart from Paul. And it was about time!

We went to dinner at Olive Garden (one of my favorite restaurants because it’s very tasty, even while being inexpensive). Then we went to to the temple for a session. After we got out (rather late), we drove to Chicago and stayed at the Palmer House. (Ryan has hotel points, and we just don’t order any room service so it was free.) The next morning we walked to Millennium Park and took some pictures as we walked around. Then we got a nice lunch and drove to Naperville in time to visit with my brother Carl and his friend.

So how did I do without Paul? I woke up once in the night thinking “oh no! He fell out of his crib!” (I don’t know why. He’s never even tried to climb out of his crib.) And then I had a dream that he was crying for me because he couldn’t get his socks on by himself. (Well, it’s true: he can’t get his socks on without my help! He tries every day.)

So how did Paul do? Mom says he didn’t cry all weekend, and he slept in until 8 a.m. (Why doesn’t he sleep in for me?!) When I heard him waking up from his nap on Saturday afternoon, I was eager to see him. He rolled over, saw me, and started to cry. It was kind of funny if you think about it.

Then we got ready and went to cousin Daniel’s baptism. We were so excited that we could be there. Paul wasn’t very reverent, unfortunately. We then had a barbecue at Daniel’s house. I didn’t get any pictures of the birthday boy on his big day. Boo.

Yard

After my last post, I did buy four small bushes (total: $70)  and Miracle Gro, a hose, and Weed Killer (total: $70). I tore out the dead bushed and planted the newborn bushes in the front planter.

Ryan’s comment: “They look like a couple of weeds.”

In the past month, they’ve grown and they look a little better. I took a picture of the planter “before” (with the dead bushes), but I didn’t take a picture of the “after” until this week. It still looks pretty meager. Maybe when my bushes have grown more, I’ll show you. I’ve also planted a few perennials and bulbs my friends gave me, but of course those won’t be much until next year.

That is the extent of yard work I can afford this year. We have a lot of other things to do, but we do not feel confident doing them ourselves and/or would really need to hire a professional. Some of those things include:

  • prune the huge tree that is half dead (please don’t tell me we can do this ourselves)
  • prune all the trees that are not dead at all (I’m hoping my better half might figure this out)
  • prune the really huge overgrown bush by the split-rail fence (I did prune the other bushes, but this one is so out of control, I seriously cannot even reach it.)
  • diagnose the fungus that the two rear maple trees have and treat the trees (Ryan self-diagnosed it, and it will just go away by next year, we think. But a real diagnosis would help me feel a lot better.)
  • tear out the dead pine tree and the dying ugly pine tree along the back of our deck (Ugly Ugly Ugly!)
  • tear out the dead rose bushes (There are about 4; turns out two or three others have a little bit of growth! maybe the other 4 likewise aren’t completely dead!)

Our planters have random things in them. I still don’t know which are weeds and which are supposed to be there. So the positive side of not having any more money for “gardening” is that I get to just wait and see. I’m glad, too, because one side of the house ended up being a bed of strawberries!

House

We have all the framed pictures we own up on the walls. Now we just need frames so we can put up the rest of our pictures. I can’t wait until every wall is full of our pictures. Then it will feel completely like home. It’s only just home right now.

I’ve spent some time getting the basement organized, including a very empty food storage family storage spot (did you notice the church “changed” the name in all it’s material?). I’ll get a picture (but not tonight) because I’m very proud of the nice open space beside all of our storage boxes. A few weeks ago, you couldn’t get past. Now you can!

Organizing the basement means there is now space to begin a sufficient family storage! Right now, our family storage is mostly non-edibles: toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning supplies. But I’ve figured out a plan for getting the edibles up to three months as well. I’m excited to have a storage of usable food just down the stairs.

I’m also slowly attacking the really moldy refrigerator in the basement so ComEd can pick it up (they’ll even pay me for it). I thought I could clean it and we could use it, but it is too moldy. I never ever want to put my food in it. I’ll never get the mold out of all the cracks. I am going to be sick just thinking about it.

Other things I’d like to have done around the house that unfortunately cost money:

  • clean the vents (The thought of having the floors sanded and all that sand still in the vents makes me shudder. I’m just sweeping up that dust every day. It’s filtering through the house!)
  • powerwash the back of the house (it’s moldy)
  • paint the house
  • paint the trim
  • replace all the windows (essentially all of them have moisture between then, which means they look very dirty, even if we clean inside and out)
  • repaint the deck
  • paint all the walls in the house

And that’s just the beginning…

Housework

I’ve come to a new realization lately: I don’t mind housework. I realized this when Ryan was home. One night, he was talking to me and I started emptying the dishwasher and loading it. I realized I didn’t care that that was what I was doing: it didn’t bother me. It’s not a big deal. Why, then, do I put it off all day?

Since then, I’ve realized the same thing about many chores: sweeping and mopping the floor, making the bed, cleaning the toilets. I don’t love doing the chores (and no, I don’t want to do your chores), but they need to be done and doing them doesn’t bother me. It’s nice to have a clean and tidy home.

It’s a nice thing to realize.

Other Updates Plus Thoughts on Cooking

I update my reading progress at my reading blog here, I post weekly updates about my son’s antics here, and I’ve started tracking my cooking here.

I’m hoping that tracking my cooking will be an incentive to remain creative in my cooking as well as healthful, even when my husband is out of town. When I don’t cook (i.e., when Ryan is gone for five days at a time), then I feel like I can’t cook and I get in a rut where I’m paralyzed in to inaction (“oh, no! It’s dinner time again!” *start panicking and staring in the mostly empty refrigerator*). I need to keep on cooking every day and planning ahead, and it will become more natural.

For some reason, I dread cooking until I begin. I really do like cooking when I’m doing it.

So does that work for an update, Jen? Sorry there are no pictures. I’m too tired to find my camera.

Our Easter Weekend

Apr 152009
 

I mentioned the other day that we had a wonderful weekend.

First, on Friday, I volunteered at the library in the morning, sans baby. I love my son, and I love being a stay-at-home Mom. But there is something so nice about leaving home and knowing that his needs are being taken care of and I’m not the one doing it! For just one morning a week, I’m a working woman, useful for my brain. (Or rather, for my alphabetizing; do you need much brain to sing the alphabet song?) Of course, Paul has entered a new stage of clingy-ness and cried when I said good-bye — even though he was going to spend the morning with Daddy.

While Ryan worked Friday afternoon, Paul and I drove down to Grandma and Grandpa’s house. I decorated Easter eggs with Daniel and Jessica and Grandma. Then we all went swimming. Paul had a blast splashing and kicking in the water.

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Paul and I ate dinner with the family and then we came home. Paul feel asleep in the car so Ryan and I had the rest of the evening. We watched a chic flick. (My choice of movie…)

Saturday morning, we decided to go bowling. Frank and Elizabeth were talking about how much fun their family had — even 2-year-old Jessica — and Ryan has been wanting to go bowling for months. So we took off at about 11:30 and went bowling! Paul was a bit scared/cranky at first. Maybe it was too noisy, maybe he was just tired. Eventually he gave up his turns and rested; we ordered food so that distracted him. Ryan and I had fun, although I won’t admit how low our scores were.

Then we went on a drive to pick up the grill we had ordered. We could only get it at a distant Lowe’s, and so we enjoyed the scenic rural drive and Paul had a nice little nap. What a beautiful world we live in! Some day we’ll take pictures and I’ll show you how pretty Illinois really is, corn fields and all.

While Ryan put his new grill together, I cleaned the house, top to bottom. It felt so wonderful. I love my house! Every time I mop the floor, every time I clean the counters and tiddy the messes, I just love my new home. I am so glad I get to stay here for the next 30 years, and that by the end of that time I’ll own it fair and square.

Sigh. There is something so satisfying about a clean home.

Sunday morning we had stake conference. It was wonderful how the speakers (including Elder Oaks and President Monson) testified of Christ in the Easter spirit. In the afternoon, Mom and Dad and Daniel and then Frank, Elizabeth, and Jessica came up. Ryan (and I helped a little) had cut most of the vegetables and made a marinade before church, so after church all we had to do was put the food on the grill. (We had steak and chicken fajitas. I know that is not a traditional Easter dinner, but I’ve been craving fajitas for weeks and yum! It was so good!)

Daniel was the Easter bunny and Paul and Jessica had a fun time searching for the eggs. I was impressed that Paul actually figured it out. He’s getting so old so fast!

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What am I forgetting? I’m sure there was something. At any rate, it was a great, energizing weekend.

How was your Easter?

Musings on Cleaning with a Kid

Mar 202009
 

I told Paul he could stay in the family room, playing with his toys: I was going to clean the bathrooms. I put the Scrubbing Bubbles container on the corner of the kitchen table and grabbed a few rags from the laundry room.

In the ten seconds I was gone, Paul grabbed the cleanser. (Apparently, he is now tall enough to reach things on the table. Make a note of that.) Then he took off the lid (I have no idea how he was successful so quickly) and went into the bathroom. When I walked into the bathroom, he was rubbing the green nozzle of the bathroom cleaner on the lid of the toilet. (He knew the bubbles had something to do with the nozzle, but wasn’t sure how to get the bubbles out.)

Wow. I was blown away.

Now, I’d love for you to suppose this is a reflection on how often I clean the toilets. Trust me – that is not the case. It’s been at least two weeks since I cleaned the bathrooms and the time before that was, I think, when we first moved in (three weeks before that). I think I just have the most clean-aware child on the face of the planet. Or maybe he’s just going through a very serious “I want to imitate Mommy” stage.

After I sprayed the cleanser on the countertops, Paul grabbed the hand towel and tried to reach the counters himself. As I Swiffer-ed the bathroom floors, Paul tried to steal the Swiffer from me. When I scrubbed the toilets, he wanted to take the brush away from me and splash it in the toilet too. (I didn’t let him, and he was very sad.)

(Paul did dip his finger in some of the Scrubbing Bubbles and put it in his month. Ooops. Trust me, Paul, that’s not whipped cream! I think he realized that when he made such a face…)

I don’t think this interest in cleaning is normal for an (almost) 18-month-old. Or is it?

Don’t get me wrong — I’d love to encourage it. I personally hate cleaning the bathrooms (among other things) and I dreaded Saturday mornings  as a kid when my sister and I were forced to clean (although we made up for it by singing “It’s a Hard-Knock Life” the whole time because our “mean mom” was like Miss Hannigan when she made us do chores). I look forward to the day when I can make cleaning the bathrooms a weekly chore for my son and not for me.  Wouldn’t it be nice if he actually liked to clean?!

I was going to post this little anecdote on Paul’s Page (where I post weekly updates and stories about Paul). But then I was hoping that some of the other moms out there can share their thoughts. At what age were your kids competent at cleaning? Did they ever express an interest in cleaning with you? How do I keep him interested in helping (even though, right now, he really isn’t helping)?

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